Not Old Enough
by luthien-yavetil
Summary: It's an all-toys movie night at Bonnie's house! Despite being owned by kids, these toys have no trouble with ratings, and eagerly watch any movie that spikes their interest... unless, of course, you're under the minimum age.  ONESHOT YAY


Classes were cancelled in the middle of school today, so I had time to write this oneshot! Yaaaaaay…

More author rambles at the end. XP

* * *

"Well, it'll be my honor to officially begin our '_All-Toys Movie Marathon'_!" Buttercup the stuffed unicorn proclaimed, strutting merrily on the living room coffee table.

It was a rare occasion when all the humans of a household would be out visiting grandparents for the weekend, and Bonnie's entire collection of toys wasn't letting the opportunity go to waste. All of them, save a few, sat compressed on the couch, forming an open ring around a wide bowl of fresh popcorn.

"So what'll we start with, everybody?" Dollie invited. "Don't be afraid to request PG and up, kay? We may be children's toys, but heck, our kid'll never know, _riiiight?" _

A round of chuckles wafted through the group, and then was replaced by thoughtful murmurs and pending suggestions.

"Since we have the chance and all, how about _The Dark Knight_?" Woody mused to his seatmates, Buzz and Jessie. "I heard it got pretty rave reviews… It's been years since I heard of Batman!"

"Naaaah," Hamm butt in. "I'm actually going to go for _Inception_. 'A dream within a dream within a dream'! Pretty snazzy, eh?"

"Aaaaah!" Trixie exclaimed suddenly. She hopped on her four hooves excitedly. "How about those movies by that animation studio? It starts with a 'P'… Ooh, I forgot its name! Oh whatever – I remember they had this one movie with an old guy and a house flying with balloons…"

"_Star Wars _or _Star Trek?" _Buzz asked the LGMs.

"That's weird," Slinky remarked. "Hey Hamm, I thought you'd go more for _Wall Street Report." _

"You bumblehead – it's not even showing yet!"

"Pirates!" "Chocolate factory!" "Crazy barber!" the peas-in-the-pod cried consecutively, shamelessly displaying their fervent love of Johnny Depp movies.

"I myself would go for _Despicable Me," _Buttercup voiced humorously.

"You and your infernal unicorn superiority. I vote anything with drama! Say, how about _Titanic?" _

The night played on, and each and every toy somehow found a movie played that perfectly suited to their interests. But at two in the morning, it was time to settle on one last movie from their large and comprehensive list. There was no way Woody and Dollie were giving up on a curfew before the sun rose. This final choice naturally spawned a few noisy arguments for the final pick, until Jessie suddenly slapped her knee.

"How about a _scary_ movie?" she gushed excitedly. "Who's up for it?"

The loud and eager reaction that resonated from the rest of the toys, enough to send Woody to the DVD stacks in front of the TV to scan the possible candidates. It took much debate, but they finally settled on a single horror flick. It was one they could never rationalize possible in real life, as not to give anyone long-lasting trauma in the many playtimes to come.

"Because we all know that Chuckie's probably a nice guy, right?" Rex said hopefully.

"Yeah. If he weren't, then he would've probably done something to the people who... you know. Used him for the movie," Mr. Potatohead reasoned, though unable to stop his arm from popping out from trembling so much.

Woody said as he searched among the titles in the DVD tower, "I'm _positive _Chuckie the doll's actually a really nice toy once you get to meet him in person…" He hesitated a moment. "Not that we're going to, anyhow."

"He kinda reminds me of Big Baby," Rex voiced nervously.

Woody pretended not to hear that, and finally fished out the case. Then as he flipped it open, he gave out a cry of disappointment. "Someone's been messing with the CDs," he reported. "It's _One Missed Call _instead."

Some of the weak-hearted toys actually seemed relieved to hear this.

"Well, it's a scary movie anyway," Buzz pointed out. "I think that'll do just fine either way."

"Guess you're right." Woody examined the label and illustration on the CD itself. "It says here… Rated-15." He turned to his fellow toys jokingly. "Who here's under fifteen?"

Everyone began to laugh… then slowly, a lone Buzz raised his hand. Alarmed by his individuality, he looked at Mrs. Potatohead helplessly. "Wait, didn't Andy get you for Christmas the year after I came up?"

Mrs. Potatohead shrugged apologetically. "Secondhand. Sorry, Buzzums."

Buzz turned to the three LGMs. "W-What about you guys? Weren't you issued the same time I was?"

They huddled together for a moment or two, and then simultaneously turned back to Buzz.

"We were around much longer before your TV show started, Buzz," they explained. "The show bought the rights from our toy company, and we got incorporated into it." It was one of their crowning moments for speaking such a long statement in perfect unison.

"Oh wow," Dollie said and walked up beside Jessie. "Hey cowgirl, since you had three owners in your entire lifetime, aren't you among the oldest of all of us here? Just saying, but… that's a mighty big age gap."

Jessie put her hands on her hips and whistled thoughtfully. "Now that you mention it…"

"Now's not the time for that!" Buzz exclaimed in embarrassment.

But while some of them were enjoying themselves, others were growing weary and impatient as the morning came nearer and nearer.

"Fine, since he's not fifteen and all, can the kid please get out of the room?" Chuckles said grumpily. "I wanna get it over with."

And understandably, Woody started in defense for his best friend," I really don't think it's necessary to –"

"Actually, legally it is," Hamm interrupted with a wide smile. "And we can't have our honorable space ranger breaking the law, can we?"

Rex waved his scrawny arms side-to-side. "He's got a point!" he admitted.

Jessie glared and angrily tipped a corner of her hat as she began to rise to her feet. "Now see here, Hamm –"

But Buzz pulled back to her seat. Then he got up instead. "Well, technically he's right," he said quietly. "I'll go ahead to Bonnie's bedroom…"

"Then I'm coming wi–"

"Jessie, stay. You're the one who suggested it in the first place. You too, Woody." Buzz climbed down to the carpeted floor and began for the door. "Good night, everyone… Hope you have a good movie."

As he left only a few toys, Woody and Jessie included, shared guilty looks.

"Hey now," Slinky said out of nowhere, tapping his front paws on the couch leather. "Are we gonna start the show now, or what?"

Meanwhile, Buzz eventually reached Bonnie's room without any trouble. But regardless of what he told his friends, going to bed early was the last thing on his mind. He yanked a _Harry Potter_ book out from a shelf and began reading.

Around two hours later and well into the middle of the story, he stuffed it back to its corner and headed to the neighboring bedroom of Bonnie's parents. Sitting on the dresser top was a standing cordless telephone, which Bonnie's mother had left there earlier this morning. And this Buzz knew well, for she had been using it this morning while making a ruckus about her missing cellphone.

The cellphone he had already found earlier as they chewed popcorn through the first three movies, lodged between the cushions of the downstairs couch. And by this time, he was pretty confident that his fellow toys would be well into the climax of their beloved film.

True, he knew nothing about the storyline. But he was willing to bet his batteries that the title was all he needed knowing to orchestrate a spectacular show.

He dialed in the number. Five seconds later, he could hear the high-pitched screams of his fellow toys resounding through the entire house. Quite an impressive feat, since the living room was downstairs and at the other side of the house to boot.

Buzz canceled the call, which would stop it from ringing the 'haunted' cellphone in the living room before any brave toy got any ideas, returned to Bonnie's room, and hopped into the toy box at the foot of her bed. Then, chuckling to himself, he lay down at a corner and closed his eyes.

He was the only toy in the house that got a wink of sleep that night.

* * *

I think the only reason I wrote this is because I wanted to throw in a lot of cultural references to my melting pot of fanfiction. By the way, the idea of Buzz and the haunted cellphone stunt? Based on a true story that happened to my friends. They were watching the movie in a condo, and then someone called a cellphone in the middle of it, and they screamed so loud that the neighbors got freaked out. Must've been a pretty freaky movie. I must watch it sometime.

Yes… I think I'm beginning to fade out of this Toy Story phase…

OH! Right, if you guys are readers of my other TS fanfic, 'Debt to Pay'… I've got good news and bad news. The good news – I've already written down the next two chapters in my notebook (not in the computer, though, since it's at the shop &sad&).

Bad news: A sheriff always keeps his/her promises. Therefore, what I said about not posting the next chapter until the goal amount of reviews and votes is received…? Yep, it still stands. But now I realize I may have been thinking too hard on it at the time, so I've decided to ease the requirements. Just 5 more reviews and votes for it will do just fine for me. XDDD (What was I thinking then? Ah well.)

&Phew& Anyway, this oneshot took me two days to write! Feel free to review and critique because, heck, those are what I live for! =)) Thanks for reading.


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